Don't harass me!

«If you don't want the bloke to be ablaze, don't light him up.»

This is the advice the author Zmile Brager provides in a special chapter for female riders in his trail riding manual.

Apart from the fact that it feels rather odd to a female reader that a man gives advice about menstrual hygiene - the sentence above is typical for a problem that women experience much more often than men: sexual harassment.

The author continues that women should not wear clothes that are too tight or too sexy, and not smile too often, or better not at all.

High heels and mini skirts are not very practical on a trekking tour, and very likely will only be worn by a minority of trail riders or hikers.
But smiling? Does it really entail "lighting someone up"?

What exactly is "provocative" behaviour and/or clothing?
I am certainly not the only woman who has been harassed although she was wearing loose clothing and an unfriendly expression on her face.

The actual problem is the reversal of the responsibilities. Not the man is required to control his urges and behave in a civilised way, but the woman is responsible for this.


An impossible demand, since the perception of what is "provocative" is subjective.
In some tribal cultures, all woman display their breasts without provoking anybody. In other cultures, women are required to don a sack in order to not become a temptation.

Also, statistics tell a different tale. Not the cheeky wearers of mini skirts are raped most often, but the shy wallflowers.
There is no such thing as an outfit that prevents harassment. The problem is the attitude of the men, who assess every woman's availability, instead of simply perceiving her, and treating her, as a fellow human being.
There is not a lot a woman can do against this, except signalling that she insists on being treated as a human being, no matter what kind of clothes she wears.

I will soon go to the hairdresser to have my hair cut short. It will be more practical on the pilgrimage, because the hair will dry faster after having been washed. I won't necessarily look good with a short cut. A side effect that is quite intentional.

What a pity that a woman has to think that way.